


How They Sleep

by dontkissthewriter



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Happy, Happy Aaron Hotchner, Happy David Rossi, Happy Derek Morgan, Happy Elle Greenaway, Happy Emily Prentiss, Happy Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Happy Luke Alvez, Happy Penelope Garcia, Happy Spencer Reid, Headcanon, How Do I Tag, Literal Sleeping Together, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, No Sex, No Smut, No Spoilers, One Big Happy Family, One Shot, Sleeping Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24494305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontkissthewriter/pseuds/dontkissthewriter
Summary: Just a quick headcanon post for the criminal minds family and how they relax in bed.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader, David Rossi/Reader, Derek Morgan/Reader, Elle Greenaway/Reader, Emily Prentiss/Reader, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Reader, Luke Alvez/Reader, Penelope Garcia/Reader, Spencer Reid/Reader, William LaMontagne Jr./Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 143





	How They Sleep

_Spencer Reid:_

Spencer’s an octopus. If anything is within reach, he curls up around it. Pillows? Cuddled. Blankets? Cuddled. You? Completely cuddled. There is no escape. And since his arms and legs are a thousand years long, you are literally gift-wrapped in his body until he wakes up. And he wakes up _slow_. He complains. Only the threat of licking inside his ear will make him let go. Also, he talks in his sleep. Hardcore. You’ve held entire conversations with him that he has no memory of. He moves in his sleep, but really only to hold you tighter or briefly stretch. One time, you crawled into bed after he fell asleep, and he started to embrace you so quickly that he actually backhanded you. No, he did not wake up, even when you laughed so hard that you cried. After an argument, he tries to be distant by sleeping with his back to you, but when he wakes up he’ll usually be holding your hand or grabbing onto your shirt anyways. After a bad case, he’ll lay in bed holding you for hours without actually sleeping. You don’t mind. Nightmares are often, but you talk him through them. He never remembers the next morning, but you do, so you always know what to do to make him feel better. If it’s bad enough to wake him, then chances are he won’t be getting back to bed for a while. He’ll leave you and catch up on work or read until he feels tired again. If you happen to wake up in the empty bed, it’s second-hand nature to go find him and drag him back into bed. Even though you tease him relentlessly for cuddling you like that, you can’t go to sleep without him. And yes, he wears pajama sets. You still think it’s hot.

_Aaron Hotchner:_

Aaron is usually so exhausted from work that when he gets into bed, he just belly flops down and passes out like that. If you didn’t know him, you’d think he was trying to suffocate himself. Face in the pillows, body completely limp. Once he’s out, he’s _out_. Nothing wakes him but the sound of his phone ringing or alarm going off, if he manages to sleep that long. And if there’s a special lady—that would be you—in the bed? Congratulations, you _are_ the mattress. It doesn’t matter how big the bed is, the guy is targeting you out and completely covering you with his body. Talking head in your chest, pinning you down for the night, so hopefully you went potty beforehand. If you guys had argued, then he waits until you’re asleep, but he still does it. He won’t tell you, but the sound of your heartbeat is soothing. It helps keep nightmares away. Sometimes, if he isn’t quite asleep but getting there and you scratch his head and back, you _swear_ he starts purring. It’s adorable. He drools in his sleep. Even after some of your worst fights, he was never the one who slept on the couch, because even when you hate him, you love him, and you would never deny him his few hours of rest. If a nightmare wakes him, he’ll do a run-through of the house with his gun, checking in on every room to make sure it’s safe. He literally can’t go back to sleep unless he does it—it’s compulsive at this point. Once he’s satisfied that everything is safe, it’s back into bed for him, holding you just a bit tighter than before. Aaron sleeps in either sweats and tee or just his boxers, there’s not much leeway in between. There’s been nights where you come into the bedroom to find that he’s actually fallen asleep still in his suit, in which case you undress him as quietly as you can before wriggling under him.

_Emily Prentiss:_

Emily’s a stiff sleeper. One might think she had army training but nope—that’s just how she is. On her back, arms either crossed on at her side, sleeping so still you sometimes don’t know if she’s pretending or not. The most relaxed she gets is rolling onto her side, and that’s only to reach out and hold your hand or feel your warmth after a bad day. She doesn’t quite _hold_ you—you cuddle, but only during the day—but she does appreciate you. Knowing you’re there, sleeping safely next to her helps her go to bed. And she’s a _light_ sleeper. Emily wakes up at anything—you mumbling, Sergio whining, the piles creaking too loud. She has mastered the art of waking up just enough to determine the threat and immediately go back asleep. It’s a talent, honestly. She doesn’t talk, but she mumbles. Out of the entire team, her nightmares are the worst, but she never lets them wake you up. You always notice, though. When you argue, she sleeps a little closer than normal, but after you fall asleep, she’s out. Emily can’t sleep after an argument until she knows the problem is resolved. If that means spending eight hours in the living room catching up on infomercials because you’re sleeping too peacefully to disturb, then so be it. On an unrelated note, your place is cluttered with all the shit she orders after a shopping binge. Emily sleeps in whatever old, ratty clothes she has lying around, which means some of your old stuff at times. She has a fondness for shorts and a tank top, and would never be found in any sort of matching set. If you’re sleeping and you crawl over to her, she allows it, but the feeling of someone restricting her ability to jump out of bed at a moment’s threat—even if it’s just laying your head on her shoulder—makes her feel panicky, trapped. When she opens up about it, you stop yourself from cuddling her while she’s sleeping, and invest in a body pillow, instead. 

_Jennifer Jareau:_

JJ sleeps like a toddler. Mouth open, splayed everywhere, drooling, snoring, book in her hands, it doesn’t matter. You could pick up her wrist and smack her with it and she wouldn’t wake up. She doesn’t quite starfish, but she moves enough in the night that you’re going to get hit by a flying limb at one point or another—it’s inevitable. She’s a shifter. And a mumbler. Her nightmares aren’t as frequent as most people think, but when they come they hit hard, and usually keep her up for the rest of the night. Once she wakes up, she doesn’t go back to sleep, so you wake up on a weekly basis to her making breakfast, or cleaning the kitchen, or doing something else that has no place in the early hours of the morning. Sometimes, if the nightmares are too often, she takes sleeping pills that will knock her out in the middle of anything—including eating dinner. She can drift in and out of sleep, and makes frequent rounds around the house checking on the children. You’re used to the feeling of her slipping out from under your arms and then coming back in a matter of seconds. After an argument, she takes the couch, or even a hotel room if she’s feeling dramatic enough. But in the end, she’s nearly always the first one to apologize, if only because she misses your warmth. Her sleepwear of choice is an oversized tee and not much else. In winter, it’s the same thing, just with fuzzy socks. If the both of you are having a sleepless night, then you usually spend it with wine and popcorn and a movie marathon. 

_Derek Morgan:_

Morgan’s the starfisher of the group. There is no area left unclaimed by him and his impressive biceps. If you’re in the bed, he doesn’t care, he’ll throw an arm or leg over you and carry on. He falls asleep slowly, never the first to shut his eyes. He wants to make sure you’re safely sleeping. He talks in his sleep, too, but it’s just fragments of sentences. No matter how he falls asleep, he always wakes up to find that he pulled you into his arms. He’s always the first one awake, but he never leaves the bed first unless he’s called out for work. He never sleeps on the couch, period. If there’s an argument, neither of you are sleeping until it’s worked out. Even if that means passing out just because of the sheer exhaustion from it, anyways. Oftentimes he returns home well after you’ve fallen asleep. But you’re so used to his schedule that you can only lightly doze until he’s home. As soon as you hear the sound of the shower running when he gets back, you’re awake and pulling back the covers on his side for him. He sleeps in as few clothes as possible—which does include the nude, most nights. The nightmares are bad, but he doesn’t let them disrupt his sleep. It’s nothing at all to him to wake up at three in the morning, look around the room real quick, and fall back asleep. There’s a strict no news channel in the bedroom, since he only gets distracted and in his head about all the disasters going on. However, on sleepless nights, he watches it anyways with the volume on low. 

_Penelope Garcia:_

Penelope spoils herself. She deserves it, obviously, but she _really_ spoils herself. Sleep mask, white noise machine, ten thousand thread count sheets, and silky nightgowns that cost more than your life. She doesn’t quite starfish, but she has smacked you in the face with her flailing arms quite a few times. Penelope sleeps on her back or side, under as many blankets as she can stand. If you try and hog them, she will—and has—kick you out of bed. Literally. Since she’s so dramatic, she’s the first to storm out and spend the night in a hotel room, and the last to return. You’ve gotten so used to having her there in bed with you that you can’t sleep without her there anyways. It feels sacrilegious to sleep on her coveted side of the bed. If she isn’t there, you most likely end up on the couch. When you two aren’t in a petty argument, you’re fond of burrowing into her side. She isn’t much of a cuddler, but her arms are always open for you to rest on. She has the least amount of nightmares, but that’s only because of her diffuser, she claims. Lavender for nights, citrus for mornings. If she wakes before you, she’ll poke you until you’re awake so you can bring her breakfast in bed. Don’t worry about not knowing what to make—she prepared her plate the night before. All you have to do is bring it and your smiling face. 

_David Rossi:_

David is quite the same as Penelope, only instead of silk nightgowns, he wears silk pajama sets. His Marine history has him sleeping flat on his back like Emily, unmoving. If you want to cuddle, you’ve got to physically move his arms yourself. Even if he falls asleep spooning you—arms linked around your waist like he’s ready to give you the Heimlich—he always wakes up on his back. Rossi never surrenders the bed, but he will be very passive aggressively dramatic and make a point of using all the covers. During an argument, David is the king of petty silence. Doesn’t matter, because whatever he throws at you, you toss right back. Your fights last weeks, and no one else except the two of you can ever pick up on the fact that you’re fighting at all. There’s an unspoken rule that after a particularly bad case any and all arguments are on pause for the night. Even though he doesn’t reciprocate, you cuddle him anyways, wanting him to know that no matter the situation, you’ll always be there to support him. Neither of you are the biggest talkers, so all your bonding is done either in bed or over dinner. He twitches in his sleep. Like a little mouse. And if he happens to wake up in the night, all he has to do is roll over and listen to your breath to lure him back to sleep. Sometimes, you wake up to find him holding your hand in his sleep and realize it was a bad night, so you go to the coffee shop he loves and get him his favorite drink. You never talk about it, but he’ll thank you by hugging you goodbye instead of your usual kiss on the cheek. 

**_BONUS ROUND_ **

_Elle Greenaway:_

Elle is a sprawler. She can fall asleep in seconds and get ready in minutes, when needed. It isn’t quite cuddling, but more _clutching_ you when she holds you at night. She sleeps exclusively in sweat shirts, stolen tees, and shorts. She’s more likely to bolt up gasping after a nightmare, but doesn’t care about waking you up or not. Frankly, she likes it when you wake up, because then you hold her really tightly and she doesn’t have to be tough for a second. Elle will take the couch most times during an argument, but she’ll also take all the blankets in the house and hide them while you’re out. After a bad case, she’ll come back with alcohol and will end up not sleeping at all. You can find her in the living room staring at old sitcoms on those nights, and since you know it’s worthless trying to get her into bed, you’ll grab a blanket and put your head in her lap. She appreciates it, even though she’d never say it outside of a shaky breath and running her fingers through your hair. She can’t sleep without the feeling of your body by hers. On a good day, she’ll wake up before you and want to get breakfast before you get up, but she’s so loud getting ready that you wake up anyways.

_Will LaMontagne Jr.:_

He’s a gentleman, and a clingy one at that. William rivals Spencer for how wrapped up he gets you. and surpasses him entirely in how unwilling he is to get out of bed. He can always convince you to stay just a bit longer, when his accent is thick and slow and raspy. He could probably convince you to do anything with his morning voice. Pajama pants and no top are what he prefers, because he likes the feeling of your skin on his. During the night, he likes to bury his head in your neck. That only means it wakes you up when he starts mumbling. During arguments, he takes the couch, but he does it so sadly and pathetically that you end up dragging him back to bed and angrily letting him hold you anyways. He doesn’t really dream at all, he claims. But you suspect that he just doesn’t want to bother you with his nightmares. You can tell when he had a bad day because when he gets home he’ll take you to bed and exhaust you—over and over and over again—before allowing himself the same pleasure. After that, he’ll hold you to his chest so tightly you think he’s trying to merge your heartbeats. You never complain, just let him take what he needs to feel better.

_Luke Alvez:_

You already know that Luke is a teddy bear. Big spoon, little spoon, on you, under you, he doesn’t care. He just wants to hold you close. Most nights, you’re out before him, but you always wake slightly when he crawls into bed. He’s the first to wake, but the last to go to sleep. It’s part of his morning routine to bring you breakfast in bed, if he has the time. By the time you’re awake, he’s usually already out with Roxie, but he tries to make it back to see you before work. His favorite sleeping position is big spoon, but he has no qualms about letting you hold him. Luke’s the kind to sleep on the couch after a rare argument even if you don’t tell him to, but he usually feels so guilty that he would sneak back into the bed after you’re asleep. On bad cases, he’s gone for hours, running himself thin with Roxie. And if she gets too tired, he’ll just drop her off at home and keep going. You know better than to try and stop him. So you wait at home for him to show up and collapse, which he eventually will. You always run him a hot bath to soothe his muscles, and he always makes sure to show you how much he appreciates it. Luke sleeps in sweats, sometimes with a shirt, most times not. And he hogs all the blankets, which has led to you straight up crawling under him to use his body heat. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! follow me on tumblr: dontkissthewriter


End file.
